Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
