Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
