He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
