Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A bitchslap is in order.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
