apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Randomize
