Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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