I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
