Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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