She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
