no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
