I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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