im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
