I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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