And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
