He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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