Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
