is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
50% drunk capacity currently
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
