They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
