Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
