You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
