Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
How external is "for external use only"?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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