3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
