Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
