She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
