her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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