i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
