We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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