A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
