was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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