She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
