Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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