Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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