I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
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