Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
