Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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