U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
