DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
