They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
