He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
