I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
