at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
