I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
