there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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