Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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