they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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