We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
