weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
His hands were made for my vagina.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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