that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
