so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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