If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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