Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
